Outline “Free Hug Campaign” by Candra Sapitri

Topic sentence :

 “Free Hugs Campaign” was the idea of Juan Mann.

a.       Major supporting sentence  :

-       He is a tall man with long black hair, sharp nose, and white complexion.

Minor supporting sentence  :

-       Based on the video, he was wearing glasses and just simple clothes, we can see from the video when he held the campaign.

 

b.                              Major supporting sentence  :

-       Juan began the campaign by himself.

            Minor supporting sentence  :

-       He brought nothing, just the sign.

-       With his smile he just walked slowly and sometimes turning around to look at the people.

-       He keep doing that while put the “Free Hugs” sign high.

c.                              Major supporting sentence  :

-       At first, no one response for what he did.

            Minor supporting sentence  :

- People just stared right through him.

- They might thought that the man was an abnormal. (This sentence must be like this “They might think that the man was an abnormal.

  Major supporting sentence   :

-  A few minutes later, an elder woman approached and asked for a hug from the man.

       Minor supporting sentence   :

-  Soon after that, more people come and give their hug to the man.

       Major supporting sentence   :

-   More people participated at the campaign.

Minor supporting sentence  :

-  No matter where they came from. No matter old or young.

-  Together, just hug each other.

      Major supporting sentence  :

-  It became more crowded where there was a sign of free hugs.

Minor supporting sentence  : 

-     But the thing was not all of the people there respect for this campaign.

      Major supporting sentence  : 

-   For some reason, the free hugs campaign was banned by the police.

Minor supporting sentence  :

-     They may thought this would be disturb the public view because it was uncommon. 

      Major supporting sentence  : 

-   Even if the man tried to explain, it made no sense for the police.

Minor supporting sentence  :

-     Because of that, the people put their big attention.

i.                                 Major supporting sentence  : 

-     They made a petition and collect the signatures of every people who did participate and support for this action as much as possible.

Minor supporting sentence    :

-   Again, offering smile and they brought list of signatures.

-   Unbelievable, they could reach the target of the signatures.

-   Ten thousand signatures to support this free hugs campaign.

-    Finally, the police give in and allowed for this campaign held, even one of the police officer hug a woman who brought the sign. (I put this sentence into minor supporting, because it still relate with major of the sentence in which it is the result of major supporting sentence)

Concluding sentence                     : 

-     In the end, we see the light that the main point of the video of Free Hugs Campaign is how we build togetherness among us.

Comment in general :

In general, the paragraphs already full fill the criteria become of a good paragraph. From the paragraphs checklist, these paragraphs almost full fill the entire checklist with a little bit mistakes. Actually, I love this paragraph because it simples and easy to understand about the topic by her view.

The organization of this paragraph is very good. I found a topic sentence in this paragraph. The sentence structures also express the complete thought like the sentences have at least one subject and verb. The paragraphs also explain about the topic by using steps in time order. But, I found a mistake in the last paragraph. I think she should be careful when she used time signal like finally and in the end, because these time signal are used to say something at the end of the paragraph. I think the sentences must be “Then, the police give in and allowed for this campaign held, even one of the police officer hug a woman who brought the sign. Finally, we see the light that the main point of the video of Free Hugs Campaign is how we build togetherness among us.”

 I really like Candra’s dictions because she used simple words and sentences to express her feeling about the topic (Free Hug Campaign). But, I found a mistake in this sentence “They might thought that the man was an abnormal.”  This sentence must be like this “They might think that the man was an abnormal.”  Grammar and mechanic of the paragraph is quiet good and she did it in detail. The paragraphs already used the capital letters in appropriate sentences and the period at the end of all sentences.